Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Wonder Woman: Double Trouble
Wonder Woman: Double Trouble...
a retelling of an old story...By Captain Zammo
The flight from Cincinnati had been long, and throughout the flight Diana had been forced to listen to a middle aged advertising salesman in a bad plaid suit.
"Are you sure you won't stop and have just ONE drink with me in the airport lounge, Miss Prince?" he begged.
"No, for the last time, Mr. Tarlek." Diana tried to turn to the window and reopen her book, but the man was relentless.
"Look Miss," he said. "Washington's a big city, and you might get lost in it. Are you sure you don't need a guide?"
Diana put on a coy little smile. "I don't think you could keep up with me, Mr. Tarlek. I move pretty fast when I want to. You look like you could get tired pretty easily. In fact, you look sleepy now." She put a hand on the man's shoulder and squeezed. The blood rushing to Tarlek's brain stopped momentarily, and the ad executive slumped back in his seat.
Diana was undisturbed for the rest of the flight.
The next morning, dressed in a crisp black pant suit, Diana entered the office suite she shared with IADC agent Steve Trevor. Steve motioned for Diana to come into his office, before Diana could get to hers. She smiled and entered Steve's office. Pushing her enormous glasses back on her pretty face, she asked, "Hi Steve, what's up?"
"Diana, I have a surprise for you. This is Joan Becker. She's a new agent in the IADC, and Joe assigned her to you, to assist you in your work. " Diana sized the young girl up. Joan was dressed in a nice blouse and skirt, with boots up to her knees. They were both about the same size and shape, and just as Diana's hair was dark and full of curls, so was Joan's. Steve whistled.
"Say I didn't notice this before--but you two look like you could have a lot in common. You might even be sisters!" He chuckled at his little joke and was about to make another comment when his phone buzzed. He took the call, then stood up abruptly.
"I'm sorry ladies, but Joe just called with a crisis for me in Parador. I'll be back later." Diana and Joan watched as Steve left the suite.
"Isn't he wonderful, Miss Prince?" said Joan. "He's just the man I want."
"Oh I understand Miss Becker; and call me Diana. But I wouldn't get any ideas if I were you. Everyone knows Steve has a thing for Wonder Woman."
"You can call me Joan, Miss Prince. Oh but who should know better that Steve Trevor loves Wonder Woman than I do?" Joan's face blushed red and she covered her mouth. "Ohhh...I ...I shouldn't have said that! I gave my secret away!" Joan clasped Diana's wrists to hers and said, "Promise me you won't give away my secret Diana?!"
"Tell what, Joan, what secret?" Diana was truly puzzled.
Joan looked shamefacedly at the floor, then looked conspiratorially at Diana. "You probably guessed it already...I am Wonder Woman!"
Diana stared at Joan Becker in amazement. "Y...You're Wonder Woman?" Diana's brain silently pondered the girl's words. "She couldn't POSSIBLY be Wonder Woman, because I am!"
Diana tilted her head back and laughed. "You've got to be kidding me Joan. You couldn't be Wonder Woman! It's true that no one's ever discovered her identity. In fact, there are rumors of a million dollar bounty for anyone who reveals it. But...But you're no Amazon, any more than I am. Wonder Woman can perform all kinds of feats that you couldn't possibly..."
I'll PROVE I'm Wonder Woman," announced Joan, with a large dose of defiance in her voice. She pointed at Diana's feet. "Stand right there and I'll return with proof positive I'm Wonder Woman.
Joan left Diana's office into the outer area. Diana crossed her arms and waited, thinking, "I know she's going to fail, because I'm Wonder Woman...But why is she so confident?"
It had only been maybe ten seconds, but the door blew open and Joan Becker, dressed as Wonder Woman appeared. Diana lurched forward in startled surprise. "Why..why that's impossible!"
"Joan Becker left, and returns as Wonder Woman! But why are you doubting me Diana?" asked Joan.
Diana studied the imposter as if studying her own reflection. Joan was almost identically dressed to Diana's own Amazon garb, right down to the tiny gold links of the lasso. "How can I tell her I can't believe what I'm seeing, without revealing that I am Wonder Woman myself?"
The doubt in Diana's eyes must have been apparent, for Joan said, "I see you're still in doubt Diana. All right then, I'll give you the final proof --proof you'll have to accept." She touched her hand to the star on her tiara and called out "Calling robot Plane."
"Great Hera," thought Diana. "She's calling my plane! But it only answers to my voice and thought commands." Joan climbed to Diana's open window.
"NO! Stop!" Diana called.
"Plane zoom at maximum speed" cried Joan as she leapt out the window and onto an invisible ladder. Diana took a moment to recover, then ran to the window, afraid of what she'd see. But by the time she got there, Joan was gone.
"She's gone," Diana said. "And only my Amazon plane could have disappeared so quickly. She returned to her desk to consider what she had just seen.
"I can't believe what I saw," mused Diana. "If I do, it means that Joan Becker is Wonder Woman. And if she's Wonder Woman, then who am I? No...NO! I need to recall what else has happened to me this morning. The solution MUST be there."
The IADC agent sat with her eyes closed, lost in recollection....
The morning had started innocently enough, with Diana leaving her Georgetown apartment to head to the IADC offices. She's stopped to drop off some dry cleaning when she saw a large hovering machine, grabbing onto an armored car. Bullets began flying from the surprised guards and from the machine as well.
"Great Hera!" said Diana. She stepped into the alley behind Ming's dry cleaning and began twirling. A bright flash of light lit the dim alley, and Diana Prince stood once more in the gold and crimson panoply of Wonder Woman.
"I've got to save those guards, and the truck!" she said, leaping for a wheel on the now hoisted armored car.
"Look it's Wonder Woman," said one of the criminals. "Where did she come from?"
"Who cares!! Cut her down," said another, and a hail of machine gun bullets began flying at the perky form of the amazing Amazon. However, Wonder Woman latched onto the armored truck's wheel and began spinning.
"She's moving too fast, we can't hit her," came a cry from the flying machine.
"We can't all miss her if we keep firing together," said the boss. All the guns began firing in synch at the hurtling Amazon. But scant seconds before the concentrated firepower began, Wonder Woman let go of the wheel and like a hurtling javelin, she landed in the cockpit of the Crime Machine. Two thugs were still firing at the tire.
"I think I got her," said one thug.
The boss whirled around and saw Wonder Woman standing there, with her fists on her hips. "Y..yipes! No, you fools--She's right here!! Turn around and get her!"
But before the gang could fire, Wonder Woman whipped her golden lasso around them. "Don't worry boys. It's going to be cool and quiet where you're going." She lowered the armored truck and the guards, then summoned her robot pBecker. Wonder Woman then turned the gang over to the police.
She whirled out of her Wonder Woman costume and recovered her car, driving onto the parking deck. The memory ended and Diana sat back. "Wait a minute!" she said. "I have it."
She smiled. "What irony. Joan Becker insists she's Wonder Woman and will make Steve fall in love with her, while I'm really Wonder Woman. I proved it by defeating those crooks with an illusion! Could I have been decieved by thinking that where the ladder was, the plane was?"
Diana stepped to her still open window and looked out, studying the wall. "Aha, Joan Becker impersonating me didn't leap onto my plane; merely a ladder similar to the one in my plane. I see the scratches the ladder and her boots made on the wall, where she climbed to the roof.
"But that still doesn't answer how shoe was able to make the change to Wonder Woman so quickly." The sexy IADC agent's musings stopped as the police scanner picked up a police call.
"Great Hera! The remaining members of the gang I caught this morning are trying another heist on Lexington!" Diana grabbed her purse and strode from the office. With her mind on stopping the criminals, she almost missed Steve and Joan talking in the hall.
"Oh...there's Steve and Joan. Is she trying to win him over?" Joan tittered as Steve made a humorous comment. Diana passed by, without them noticing.
"How can I leave Steve with her, knowing she's determined to make him fall in love with her? But if I stay, the gang may get away!!" The mental struggle took only a moment though, and though Diana Prince got into the elevator to the roof, Wonder Woman leapt from it ready for action. She ran down the streets of DC to Lexington Avenue, determined to deal with her imposter when she returned.
Moments later, Wonder Woman reached the scene of the robbery. The crowds turned and cheered when they saw her. "You sure cleaned up that gang in a hurry Wonder Woman!" said the bank president."
"What?" asked an astonished heroine.
"You certainly move fast Wonder Woman. We just saw you leave with the prisoners by way of River Drive. And yet, you're back here already!"
"What a heroine!!"
Diana's mind was racing. "How can they be speaking as if I've already captured the gang, when I just got here? There has to be a mistake--I can't be in two places at one time--unless this is all a dream?" She broke her reverie long enough to acknowledge her undeserved accolades, then said, "Did you say River Drive? Excuse me...I have to leave."
As Diana raced toward River Drive, she thought, "The only person who could so successfully impersonate me is Joan Becker. But I left her with Steve at the IADC. So who is this NEW Wonder Woman?"
As Wonder Woman raced along River Drive, she was startled. "Shades of Pluto! " she swore. "The people at the bank were right. They did see Wonder Woman performing an Amazon feat and so do I!!" In front of the astonished Amazon, she saw a virtual duplicate carrying two men, one in each arm.
The new Wonder Woman turned back and gaped at Wonder Woman in amazement. She dropped the two goons and said, "Joan? What are you doing here?"
"Joan?" thought Wonder Woman. "She called me Joan. By Hera, now I know how she was able to change into Wonder Woman so quickly at the IADC this morning."
Wonder Woman grabbed the fallen goons and lifted them over her head. "I'll take these two friends of yours for safekeeping, if you don't mind." she said.
"Joan! I don't believe it! You were never strong enough to perform the feat you're doing now!"
The stunned goons pulled revolvers from their jacket pockets and began firing at Wonder Woman. Deftly, she deflected each bullet fired at her.
"Holy cow! She's got wrists of steel! It's the real Wonder Woman all right!!"
"Parrying bullets is a game every Amazon Child learns." Wonder Woman tossed the goons into the air, then dropped her lasso over the two of them. "Now gentlemen, you're going to give me some information..."
Behind her though, Wonder Woman heard a cry for help. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw her double being dragged into a car covered with motion picture cameras. "She may be impersonating me, but from the looks of things, I don't think she's mixed up with these crooks." Wonder Woman commanded the men to go to sleep, then unlassoed them and chased after the car.
She caught up to the fleeing coupe and grabbed the rear bumper, beginning to lift it from the ground. But to her dismay, the fearless Amazon discovered the movie cameras....
"Fake Cameras...Fixed to...shoot gasssss....." In a fit of coughing, Wonder Woman crumpled to the pavement, unconscious. Powerful arms dragged the fallen heroine into the coupe, then drove swiftly through the Maryland suburbs. Inside the car, those powerful arms slowly began undressing the helpless heroine, then wrapping the magical golden lariat tightly around the unconscious Wonder Woman's limp form.
The lights blurred in Wonder Woman's head, finally resolving into focus in a warehouse. The groggy Amazon swam to consciousness, only to find herself nude and bound tightly hand and foot in the criminal's hideout. Looking up, Wonder Woman gazed into the eyes of her double.
"You...you couldn't possibly be Joan Becker," croaked Wonder Woman through her parched lips. "So you must be her twin. That would account for the lightning fast changes. You were already lurking in the IADC in costume, waiting for Joan to signal you to take her place."
"Very clever Wonder Woman," said the imposter. "I'm Inez Becker. We were hired specifically to lure you out into the open."
"But why?" asked Wonder Woman.
"Isn't that obvious?" replied Inez. "The underworld has a standing contract for you. My sister and I are the daughters of a man you and Steve Trevor sent to jail four years ago. In addition to the money for your life, we're going to collect revenge on the IADC as well. We proposed our plan to the crime bosses and they fronted us $300,000 to trap you."
Inez tugged on the lasso, and Wonder Woman winced as the gold chain pulled taut against her bare chest, thighs and crotch. Inez laughed at her captive's discomfort.
"We already had more than a passing resemblance to you, Wonder Woman, so it wasn't too hard to have Doctor Henkel, here, perform the necessary plastic surgeries to make us your doubles in every way. Then we set out to lure you out.
"Joan passed the tests and was accepted by the IADC with no problems. It was her job to confide to Diana Prince that she was really Wonder Woman. I was to perform "Amazon-like" feats, with the help of Dr. Henkel and his men. Then it was merely a matter of time, Wonder Woman, until you either heard of Joan's claims or my impersonation...and investigate. You were marvelous darling and fell right into our little trap, didn't she Doctor Henkel?" Inez knelt in front of the bound Amazon and stroked Wonder Woman's cheek. The Amazing Amazon blushed at how readily she'd been led.
Inez tugged again at Wonder Woman's crotch rope and the magic lasso slipped into the naked woman's labia. Wonder Woman squirmed helplessly for a moment, then found her breath.
"What are you going to do with me, then?" she asked.
"Well, the Underworld requires proof of your demise. But I'm greedy. Joan and I feel there's MORE to be had from you, than just your death. And when Joan brings Trevor to join us, then the two of you will be sold to the Eastern Bloc for the information you can provide."
"In the meantime...Doctor Henkel's men have some unfinished business, they would like to conduct with you." Inez motioned to the goons Diana had left sleeping earlier. She then held the lasso and said, "I order you to not resist this Wonder Woman; after all, your mission is about peace and love." Wonder Woman's body tensed, then relaxed. She was unable to resist as Inez' men bent her backward and spread her legs.
Inez laughed and took Doctor Henkel by the arm, leading him out of the room. The goons were relentless, and Wonder Woman's cries of "No!" were soon drowned out by raucous laughter.
She found herself face down, her mighty form helpless to resist one intruder after another. Bound with her own lasso, and commanded not to resist, Wonder Woman suffered one indignity after another as Henkel and Inez' men had their way with her. She was groped, poked, prodded and molested every which way, and just whne she thought they'd had enough of her, the men started in again. She whimpered, she moaned and she pleaded, but all night long her body betrayed her.
As the sun rose the next morning, Inez returned, with Dr. Henkel. Inez was furious. "Where could she POSSIBLY be?"she shouted. "All she had to do was seduce one moronic IADC agent. How hard could that be?"
"I don't know," offered Henkel. "perhaps she really fell in love?"
Joan fumed for a while, then said, "We can't wait for her any longer. At least we'll have Wonder Woman to sell. She's bound to have lots of secrets." Inez reached down and carefully untied Wonder Woman's sticky legs. The Amazon groaned in relief.
"Stand up, Wonder Woman," she said. "You can walk to the van under your own power, THEN we can put you to sleep. And when you wake up, you'll be telling your stories and secrets to the Soviets." With halting motions, the once graceful and now sore Wonder Woman slowly got to her feet. Inez grasped the lasso and leered, pointing a gun at Wonder Woman.
"I'll bet you never thought your end would come like this, did you Wonder Woman? Do you have any words for posterity?"
"Yes, you forgot something, Inez," said Wonder Woman.
"What's that?" she scoffed.
"An Amazon never gives up." Wonder Woman kicked up and knocked both the gun and the lasso from Inez' hand. As she struggled to free herself from the knots still binding her, she heard the clicking of three guns' hammers sliding back.
"Don't worry boss, we'll stop her," said Henkel and his henchmen. Wonder Woman stood still, considering her next moves.
Suddenly several shots rang out and Steve's voice cried out. "Federal Agents! Drop your weapons and come out with your hands up--we have the building completely surrounded." Several armed IADC agents stormed into the building, and promptly took custody of Inez, Henkel and their goons. Steve, ever the proper gentleman gave Wonder Woman his topcoat.
She thanks him and slipped it over her bare frame. "How did you find me?" she asked.
"Joan Becker," he replied. "Someone heard her telling Diana Prince she was Wonder Woman. But I got suspicious last night."
"What gave her away?" asked Wonder Woman.
"Her kisses," explained Steve. "No one kisses like you do."
Wonder Woman proved it by rewarding Steve with a long, lingering one.