Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Victory Woman takes her shot
by Captain Zammo
(With apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer)

It really wasn't boding well in Newport on the Bay
The downtown streets were smoldering; the Spoiler'd come to play.
So when the mayor surrendered; the police force did the same
The papers pointed fingers; the people affixed blame.
A lucky few escaped the town; in thrall he held the rest
But HOPE still flickered bravely in each captive townsman's breast.
"If only," it was whispered, "Victory Woman would arrive.
If Victory Woman faced this guy, we'd make it out alive."

But the Guild first sent in Lightning; and also Captain Fate
The former was a rookie, the latter out of date.
And so among the citizens a sense of doom held sway
They felt they wouldn't be alone in needing help that day.
But the kid unleashed a barrage, 'gainst the villain's metal hide
And Fate's concussion blows exposed a booby trap inside!
Then when the dust had settled and the crowd saw what occurred;
They found Fate sprawled out on Broadway
With bits of Lightning strewn all down Third.

Then rocketing across the sky came a streaking crimson form
The sonic boom had echoed like a large impending storm.
And when the form decreased its speed and gracefully swooped down
For the Spoiler there could be no doubt; Vict'ry Woman was in town.

There was Grace in Victory's bearing. as she dodged the Spoiler's guns
Her confidence apparent as her heat beams burned his buns!
She landed near the battle line, and smoothed her ruffled skirt,
Then to the crowds she blew a kiss; just a harmless little flirt.
But as her back was turned to him; the Spoiler fired a flare.
It hit her squarely in the back; she skidded up the square.
So Victory got to her feet, brushed blonde hair from her eyes
"You just got in a lucky punch; you hit me by surprise."

She flew once more into the fray; her azure cape a-swell
Her fists clenched tight in fury, her jaw clamped tight as well.
She dove straight at the Spoiler, with a savage super blow
And crashed deep into City Hall, (The Spoiler dodged, you know.)

Ten thousand eyes upon her as she rose from the debris.
Five thousand tongues fell silent as she dropped back to her knees.
He threw a City Bus at her, "Take that, you stupid cow!
With my expanding Robot Arms, I'm your equal now!"

She caught the bus and set it down, innocent lives at stake.
"Spoiler," she said, blue eyes aglow, "You've made a big mistake!"
She charged the armored mastermind; her fiery eyes ablaze.
But tripped on a downed power line; which set her in a daze.

The Spoiler; sweating in his suit, released a large steel ball
It rolled across the broken street, stopped near the super doll.
A woozy, dizzy Victory gazed out through bleary eyes
And as the ball belched sleeping gas, she inhaled with a sigh.
Her lithe and sexy body shuddered as she breathed the noxious gas
The population trembled, could no one help this lass?

The Spoiler, sensing victory, shambled toward his helpless prey.
It certainly appeared the Good Guys would lose big time this day.
The Spoiler laughed in triumph. The crowd stepped back afraid.
A snaking robot arm reach out, and gripped the Mighty Maid.
But as Victory hung dangling, the Spoiler was surprised.
By two glowing crimson fire beams that shot out of Victory's eyes.

The silent crowd now found its voice, it rallied in a cheer.
While wafting from the Spoiler's suit came the distinct scent of fear.
The Robot's arm was melted, in a hot metallic goo.
But Victory fell into it, felt it harden 'round her shoe.
The once triumphant heroine pulled on her held fast leg.
"Now, at last" the Spoiler thought, "I'll take her down a peg"

With his remaining robot arm he beat her long and hard.
He didn't stop until Victory lay still upon the yard.
Her blonde hair lay across her face, her azure cape was torn
Only tattered scraps remained of the crimson suit she'd worn.
Her eyes were swollen shut in pain, and from her lip blood curled,
"This isn't supposed to happen, I'm a hero in this world"

The Spoiler climbed down from the 'bot, to make his win complete.
He grabbed poor Victory by her locks and pulled her to her feet.
"I've beaten all your heroes here," the Spoiler said, quite proud.
The weakened superheroine stood stumbling, staring blankly at the crowd.
"Now to the Spoiler belongs Victory," he said with an evil leer.
(You readers with small children close, may want to disappear)

The Spoiler pulled the tatters of her ruined costume free
And showed the world the perfect breasts of defeated Victory.
Her shock at being so exposed, caused Victory to wail.
The Spoiler laughed and had his minions carry her to jail.
For three long days and three long nights, she served each villain's whim.
Her perfect body ruined, bruised, no longer trim.
The things they did to Victory are would cause your hair to curl
Suffice to say that no one ever ever, saw the missing girl.

In Newport now, a despot reigns, with all his brutish louts
For Victory, who had a chance with all her friends, struck out.

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